toilet paper where are you??

Tsk tsk tsk! Our office cleaners never do their jobs promptly!
They didn't refill the toilet papers on time in the morning... cos...
something horrible happened to me!
No, I didn't fell into the toilet bowl.
No, I didn't slip and fell.
Yes, I did a LS and to my horror, after biz, I reached for the papers and they were not there!!!!!
Toilet paper where are you??

All because of the toxic Uncle Samy's curry, I had visited the toilet about 4 times from 9 to noon and the last trip... well, no papers... *sob sob*

Since I'm not ashamed to admit there's no paper, I shall go into details on how I managed to get out of the toilet.

I did the impossible - yes, I used my hands... You don't frown or yuck at me, OKAY!
At least, I'm still clean after the LS biz ALRIGHT!
Lucky thing, it's a single use toilet cubicle and the sink was just right next to moi!

Thinking back, my frens used to discuss this when we were damn bored during our hangouts about the what ifs and this was one of the topic... my girlfrens were creative with suggestions, like:
1) take off panty, use partial to soak with water, wipe butt and use the other partial to dry the butt; OR
2) if there's no available sink nor water, and if your bra has detachable pad (which incidentally means you have small breasts, ha!), then remove your pads and use them to clean off the mess;

I never think one day I'll be having such a situation, but it did happen. Luckily we had that funny discussion. Who would have thought that I would use it on myself?