Exhausted.

I'm exhausted.
It's been more than 1 week since she behaves like this.
Baby Heidi's been an angel in the day and a monster by the night.
She doesn't sleep after her last feed @ 12+mn and goes on to make noises through out the night. She grunts, cries, talks in her own language, whatsoever sounds etc... from 12mn to 5am.

I feed her every two hourly. I burp her. Supposedly after each feed she should feel so warm and good that she sleeps off, but the burping causes her to be wide-awake.
Then after feed-burp, comes the poo.

The highest record held is 5 diapers changed in a short time span of 5 hours. That makes every hour, a change.

After changing her, it's almost 2 hours up and she wants her milk again.

I'm losing sleep, I'm exhausted.

I talk to her.
I sing lulls to her.
I rock her.
I massage her.

But all these don't seem to work at all.

I'm not angry with her.
Nor I want to send her to the confinement lady.
I should be the one learning her character, her temper and the confinement lady will leave soon, I'll still be the one handling in the end. So what's the point of passing the bucket to her?

Maybe I love this little one too much that I'm getting paranoid at how others will handle her.

Will they soothe her like I do?
Will they change her nappies & apply the cream in a gentle way?
Will they clean her properly?
Will they get frustrated with her as she's one tough girl to handle?

I'm not angry with the monster.
I'm just frustrated with myself.
For not being able to know how to communicate to her.
Not being able to understand & interpret her well.
Not being a patient mother to her.

I plead with you whoever, stop testing me.
I'm exhausted.
She's exhausted too.
We both need sleep at night.